“May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.”


"This report is maybe 12-years-old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear because there's a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They're gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, 10, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people . . . better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave." ~ Captain Malcom Reynolds

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Life on the see-saw...

Back & forth the past couple of days, just one of those cycles...

Made it to the range Friday for some non-stressful, no-rush, quiet time shooting by myself. Grabbed a spot on the rifle deck and spent two hours on just some fundamental stuff. Not thrilled with how I was doing, but not horribly mad either - and I knew enough to know when to call it a day. Finished up with a little shotgun and pistol work, which was right about the point of diminishing returns so I called it a day. But overall I was glad to get out and have a chance to just work on my needed practice, as opposed to spending most of my time teaching others. I like instructing and all that, but at times I need to focus inwards instead of outwards...

Came home & finally worked on the water heater, which was successful. Unfortunately, in doing so, one of the valves I shut off decided that was the last time it felt like being fully functional in the old plumbing, and developed a nice steady drip. And of course the "current" home warranty plan we picked up doesn't kick in til NEXT week... so I'm stuck between trying to fix it myself & possibly making things worse, or else paying a plumber to come in next week.

Worked a few hours of OT tonight in one of our problem areas with a good partner. Apparently no one wanted to go to jail tonight, but we got some good info on some other things & forwarded as needed - so we at least justified our time out there & kept the bosses happy. The sad part is that we talked with more people and put more effort into it than the 14 people who were actually working the road at the time... there is definitely a difference in how the two different platoons approach things & it shows in stuff like this. It was nice to get out and not worry about calls & just look for the things that caught our eye though - definitely makes me wish they would bring back our unit that used to do this all the time, then I might actually be willing to transfer off the road. As it is, I'm glad we have a supervisor who trusts us enough to let us come do these things when need be.

On the other side of annoying, the VA all of a sudden decided that the surgery scheduled for next week ISN'T covered under my disability rating, and since they aren't in my HMO's network I will get stuck with the full bill... really great to know this close to things, especially when this has been in the works for several months and they've treated everything else. So, my options are do the surgery now & hope to win the fight over a several thousand dollar bill, or else put it off... I'll know more Monday after fighting things out over the phone.

But... to focus on the positive...

I got to spend some good time with my wife this past couple of days, even time that one or the other of us wasn't exhausted, rushed, or otherwise occupied and could just be a couple again.

Jacob has discovered the joys of Lincoln Logs and normal-sized Legos, and has been having great fun with both as special toys he can play with in the office without having to share. And watching him create, problem solve and imagine what he wants to do is amazing and incredible and reminds me again and again how smart he already is. It also lets him spend time with me when I am on the electronic addictive internet machine, as it gives him something he isn't bored with that lets him explore - and it reminds me to pull myself away and remember what is important.

Kyleigh has discovered that while books are quite tasty, no matter how many times a grown-up says "No", they also seem quite interesting to look at page-by-page... watching her sit and flip through them, even though I know she is just mimicing what she has seen, makes me smile realizing that most likely we have brought yet another bibliophile into the world who will find a quiet joy in the printed word as she goes through life... she also has expanded her "daddy give me attention" rules to include just sitting next to me on the couch playing and laughing with things, her only need to be close and interact.

So yes, life isn't perfect, but I certainly am not doing that bad... perhaps this week will find the balance more towards the center...

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