“May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.”

"This report is maybe 12-years-old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear because there's a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They're gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, 10, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people . . . better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave." ~ Captain Malcom Reynolds

Friday, June 27, 2008

7 years -- great

Full day today.

Started with court way too early this morning, then coming home to work on more bathroom stuff.

During which I managed to drop and break the new mirror during installation - like I NEEDED more bad luck!

Plus found out I need a new set of hoses - which I was NOT going to the home store for the fourth time today for, it can wait til tomorrow...

But on the other hand - the tiling is done, the sink is installed, pipes are run and the progress is visible.

And from there it got better - oldest son, the wonderful Jacob had his third birthday and party :D

He got an abundance of gifts, all of which he loved (my pick of a stuffed tyrannosaurus rex as big as him is now a new sleep cuddle for him :D ) - and an even greater blessing of family and visitors who showed up for his special day and showed him how much he was loved.

And I got to finish his day by sitting on the couch, watching him LOVE his new books, and tucking him into bed amazed at the fact I get to help shape this life.

Guess that mirror thing isn't so true after all.

Parents who care

So first night back last week on the road, first call of the shift I get a set of juvenile shoplifters at one of the local stores...

For those not aware, juvenile arrests tend to be a major pain in the ass... extra paperwork, inconvenient court times, parents and others having to get involved, etc etc - all for charges that usually get dismissed, or treated much less seriously than an adults in an effort to "keep kids out of the system". And now I get to multiply that times four.

Another presumed fact of juveniles always seems to be the "not my kid" syndrome of the parents... their little baby would never do whatever it was, it's not their fault, and all that stuff - usually from the parents who see the kid about an hour a day over the television screen, and expect us to act as their surrogate up until the point of actually doing any real parenting of their child.

Finally, a great many of these juveniles have been in the system & played the game (at least the area I work) - they know it's only going to be a slap on the wrist, mom/dad won't care, so why should they give you any more than lip service and the barest cooperation?

Yes folks, just like anyone else, we cops get some preconceived notions about our calls and work...

Obviously I was thrilled with this call the whole drive there.

So I get there, do my little interviews with the kids & get their confessions. Right away there is one change, in that all of them are apologetic to the store and me, and very concerned about what is going to happen. So I explain the procedures for the night to them, and about how this will go to court & the judge gets to resolve things any number of ways. We also start the process of getting a hold of parents, and I explain that if I can't do that then they will end up in detention since I can't just release them on their own.

Well in an interesting change of pace these young men actually start asking about detention instead of mom & dad - it seems they are all very worried about the parental reactions and punishments and think they would be safer in custody... Going so far as to ask how big the rooms are and how bad it really is, and can't we just go that route?

So in between processing, paperwork and explaining it doesn't work that way the various parents show up. All of whom are very obviously pissed off. While I'm explaining what happened, how they were honest and cooperative and all of that - and waiting for the storm directed at me that I am sure is coming...

And here's the next surprise - they all go off, but very much directed at the kids and not at us - discussing punishment options among themselves, that the kids do know better and will learn the consequences and running on from there.

A few minutes later I walk four VERY dejected looking young men out to their parents... which appeared to be the longest walk of their lives. Before they make it ten feet from me the very vocal scolding has started - one informed a summer trip to Europe is out, another is grounded til about the 43rd of never, and it goes downhill as they get in their cars and drive away. And something tells me there were some sore butts that night.

Let me tell you, it's nice to know there are still parents who care about their kids knowing right from wrong, and who hold them accountable. That's one time I'm definitely glad my cynicism was blown out of the water.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Back in the Saddle

Back to regular work this past week, and it actually was nice and productive - I appear to be out of my slump of not being able to find stuff. I shall share some of the stories over the next few days, just wanted to get a brief post done now.

Also making progress on the bathroom tile job - hoping that tomorrow I can get the last of it done so we can grout soon & get everything else put in...

So, still here and all - more to follow!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


One of the joys and challenges of life with my son is his incredible retention - he will remember things he saw or heard just one time, and spout them out months later... Obviously this has led to my having to increase my self-awareness of what I say around him as this goes on!

But every now & then he comes up with something that is incredibly precious instead of funny...

Today we were sitting at a restaurant for lunch together while having some daddy/son time. And out of the blue he looks at me and says "God didn't make us to eat money, He made us to eat food." And then calmly went back to eating as if his message had been delivered.

I'm presuming he picked that up at church, but you never know...

From the mouths of babes after all.

Tile and work and not much fun

Haven't disappeared again, just nothing much to share. Still in the middle of my first actual break in a long time, so no work stories or events to share that would interest anyone there...

Had a court morning and then came home and spent the rest of the day working on the bathroom tile job. Two months in and the project still isn't done... but getting closer! So maybe soon I'll have some other household project to share.

So just letting you all know that I am alive.

Monday, June 16, 2008


On the tail end of all my stuff I got the word today that a coworker committed suicide... looks like due to relationship issues.

Suicide is one thing I have never comprehended. I am not in any way judging him, I am just saying.

As you may have gathered the past month was relatively rough on me - both personally and in relationship with my wife (and not blaming either side, just things we both have to sort out). But I have never for a heartbeat, no matter how dark things got considered ending things on my own. I would die for my children or my wife in a heartbeat if need be, no matter how dark things get - but no matter what, I can't see myself taking my own life for them. I don't know if that is a double standard or a higher sense, I just am saying how I feel.

But I cannot judge what has happened - I have my outlook but I try to leave others theirs.

I just wish he could have found another way, another option that left him hope instead of feeling all was lost.

John, may you rest in peace and I hope that somewhere your soul finds rest.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Still alive

Yes, I'm still here, and it's time to start writing again things that I can share with others.

I've sorted through some stuff. Still lots of internal and external issues to resolve, but this last week has seen a peace of sorts. I'm eating and sleeping again, and haven't broken down in a while.

I know none of this is thrilling cop stories but it's things I have to sort out. A lot will still take a while, but I am in a better place now than I was last month. That's all a person can hope for.

Anyway, just wanted to let all three of my readers know I am alive & will try to start writing again :D

Monday, June 2, 2008


I'm still alive, I'm healthy enough and all that.

But I'm not going to write for a bit. I'm trying to figure some stuff out going on in my head, and I need to concentrate on that and my family. There is a lot going on that has me confused & kind of lost, and I need to sort it out so I know what is where.

Hopefully this will work out soon & I shall return to sanity.

I hope both my regular readers understand, but right now I need to concentrate on that other stuff.

I shall return soon.