Storytime

So I'm sitting in Domestic Court the other day, dealing with an unfortunately rather typical boyfriend/girlfriend dispute which involved him hitting her & tossing her around. The prosecutor is one that I work pretty well with, and since the defendant was gone when I got to the initial scene I am mostly around to verify what was reported and charged at this point.

The first sign that this was going to be fun was when the guy showed up without a lawyer and said he wanted to defend himself. Now, on some traffic tickets, this may be an alright choice... but for a criminal charge? No thanks - I'll take the professional who knows how a courtroom works, what laws apply, elements of the offense and all that stuff... but that's just me. This rule is pretty much proven true in this case as well though, since when he gets up to testify in his own defense, his statements pretty much make the case for us even without the victim.

Well during said assault he had helped himself to her cell phone from her purse, for which he got charged the larceny, along with some other alleged items. So as the prosecutor starts asking him about this in court he says sure, he still has the phone - he has it here today. Then, asking about what else he may have taken, he spouts off that yes he took a bottle of her medications from her purse, along with some other "drugs", because they were bad for her and she didn't need them...

I'm already shaking my head as the prosecutor jumps on this like a cat on a mouse. So what happened to those drugs?

Oh - I brought them here today as evidence. (Of what, I'm not sure.... )

And do you have a prescription for any of those?

No, like I said, I took them from her.

I'm just writing things down, more and more amazed as I listen to this guy not only dig himself deeper into his already-present hole for the larceny, but into brand new drug possession charges as he hands all the stuff over to us right in front of the judge.

So, instead of a nice, quick court appearance and going home, I end up spending the rest of my afternoon packaging 11 different kinds of drugs, plus writing a new report and swearing out new warrants. Which means I now get at least two more appearances in court with this guy, after watching what can only be described as a painful crash landing in front of the world...

The only good part is, he said now he "thinks he wants a lawyer for this stuff."

Nice to know some people CAN learn.