“May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.”

"This report is maybe 12-years-old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear because there's a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They're gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, 10, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people . . . better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave." ~ Captain Malcom Reynolds

Sunday, March 3, 2013

You can't make this stuff up

So, finally got a halfway amusing call the other afternoon/evening - one of those where you just shake your head afterwards.

The first problem of our idiot-in-question? Well, he's doing some homemade bomb experimentation... we get called since he seems to have decided to leave one of these by the roadway in the middle of the afternoon & a passerby spots it. Now, in this busy neighborhood, how do we figure out where the perpetrator is? Well - since he has left a literal trail of exploded & failed to work devices literally from the roadway to his back door, with parts & pieces of the manufacture thereof sitting in plain view on the porch, it's kind of easy to work that one out.

No one is answering the door, even with several cars there, so we end up with a couple of us sitting on the house while another goes to type up and get our search warrant. Reasonably sure that someone is inside and just pretending, but that's on them. While we are waiting I idly comment to my coworker as well "You know, we're going to find drugs in here too."

Which leads to the next phase of the story... after all of this, what with dealing with the devices, waiting on the paper, and all that, it's been about two hours now of plenty of police and fire folks right outside - not exactly subtle-like. Sure enough, shortly after like a rabbit out of a hole, out comes our timid little resident - "Oh officers, is something going on?" Even two seconds of talking with this guy has the B.S. meter pegged, and I'm just laughing because I know this will continue to be fun.

So, the search warrant finally shows up & inside we go to clear the house and start looking for the bomb stuff. And yes, we don't even make it out of the first room before seeing our drugs... Johnny the bomb player also apparently has a hobby of growing marijuana, and heavily consuming the same. Along with certain other recreational chemicals when he feels like it.

Ever watch Cops or any of those reality shows and think "People really aren't that stupid in real life, it's all scripted." ??  Let's consider this - just two elements. #1 - the guy pretty much left a lit beacon straight to his house from his bomb play saying "HEY, COME ARREST ME, I DID IT!"  #2 - he then sat in his house, peeking out the windows at us for TWO HOURS and realizing we just weren't going away, and at no point in there did the concept of "Hey, maybe I ought to go ahead and flush some of this dope down the toilet." ever cross his mind.

I mean really, can we honestly think that THIS example was the fittest survivor of his gene pool?

Job security folks.


Melissa said...

How long was this trail of dud bombs? And what possessed him to lay them out like that? More importantly, how did this idiot survive his own bombs long enough to make a trail of them?

Jeff said...

Perhaps he thought if he shut his eyes you wouldn't be able to see him. Either way it is great you got him off the streets.

Anonymous said...

Stupid people make our jobs fun....Sometimes

Old NFO said...

Oh man, THAT beats all of mine... :-) Glad he was stupid! Stay safe out there!