“May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.”

"This report is maybe 12-years-old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear because there's a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They're gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, 10, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people . . . better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave." ~ Captain Malcom Reynolds

Saturday, March 17, 2012


As I've mentioned before, I try to avoid the political stuff on this blog. Others do it far more eloquently than I do, plus if I think too long on the topic these days I'm liable to get a stroke. Be that as it may, the recent events in our national circus have a few comments bubbling over the pot, Mostly regarding what I do and don't want in a candidate and an election.

Do I anticipate it changing anything? Of course not. Just like I know not everyone will agree with me. But it's my chalkboard, so I can scribble what I want.

By no means an exhaustive list, nor in any order beyond what comes to mind as I type this morning:

- Have more than a passing familiarity with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. And not just one or two of the amendments, but all of them - I hate this trend we have of "well don't attack my pet beliefs, but do what you want to the other side." A nice first step would be telling me how any of your proposed legislative actions are allowed under said documents, and why what you want to do is the government's business. Also, understand what a "right" actually is as opposed to a "benefit or privilege," and understand that the government does not in any way "grant' any of those rights.

- Quit spending your time telling me about how the other side failed, was wrong, or is a child-molesting, heathen, trans-fat injecting, reality TV-watching reprobate. Tell me what YOU are going to do and stand for - not what is wrong with the other side.

- I'm tired of party politics - of either side. They're both entrenched, insider driven organizations, and both are far more concerned in defeating the other side than in doing any significant help for the country. Once you get past the labels it's the same clowns, different circus.

- Additionally, the rich-boy's club needs to end. The fact that Congress has such a high percentage of millionaires yet wants to lecture me on being middle-class is simply ludicrous. Get rid of the system of buying into office, and let's have some people who actually represent all levels of society.

- If elected, remember you work for me & are there at our sufferance - not the other way around. Term limits would be great, as would a removal of the government pension system & incentive to park your ass in office for the rest of your life. Additionally, even though you think it's a popularity contest and you want everyone to like you - I'd rather you go in as a responsible adult willing to piss off people because you're doing the right thing, than see you as another spineless pawn of the latest poll.

- Keep your religion out of office. I'm fine if you want to tell me that you live your life by the Bible, Torah, Koran, or the scribblings on the menu of Uncle Bob's Bar-B-Que and Bait shop - at least I get a reference point for your behavior. But the instant you tell me you want to run the country by those same guidelines you can pack sand. Your faith (or lack thereof) is your business & I've seen what theocracies turn into. Similarly, as long as it's not hurting anyone else, stay out of my church and what I believe or practice.

- Also, quit telling me and others how to live our lives. Whether it's our genitals, our reproduction, our desire or lack of desire for various mating rituals and ceremonies, or the food we want to eat - butt out. Self-determination and responsibility for the consequences of our actions needs to return to the individual and the community.

- For the elephant that's not just in the room, but it's crushed the guests and eaten all the food - the economy, budget, and deficit. Quit lying to us, quit spending more money and buying votes with your entitlements or your business subsidies (same action from both sides, just different recipients,) and quit avoiding the hard decisions. As everyone with a brain has been saying and you keep ignoring we have passed the time for hard decisions and now we have to start cutting away in hopes to even survive, not just to maintain. So - your actions in office need to involve aggressively cutting expenses and programs, and shrinking government to a level of near-invisibility.

- Despite my love of our military and gratitude towards the service members who give so much, it's time for us to stop being the world's policeman. We don't have the money for it, it's not making a difference where it needs to, and we're losing lives in a lost cause. Given the options of building an empire by conquering our enemies & colonizing their lands, or of bringing our people home it's time for the latter. Additionally it's time for the other boys and girls on the playground to learn to take care of themselves (I'm talking to you Europe.) Note - I'm not saying get rid of the military or be weak - if you threaten us then an overwhelmingly violent lesson in the folly of such is appropriate. But once that's done we don't need to sit there for ten years trying to figure out step two.

- Same for foreign aid and development, which as P.J. O'Rourke said twenty years ago seems to be doing neither - to heck with 'em. We can't afford to prop up or subsidize everyone else anymore.

- Start cutting laws, regulations, and agencies not expanding them. Again, the bureaucracy is unsustainable.

- Drugs. This is a tough one for me. On the one hand, I've seen what horrible stuff drug abuse does to people. On the other, the war on drugs has been a dismal failure in terms of stopping the inflow, harming the organizations, or anything similar - and has led to a horrendous erosion of our rights as citizens, and an even worse problem among the populace of an "us vs. them" militarization of law enforcement. The Portuguese model seems to be working well, maybe it's time to give that a try. If not, let Darwin take over.

- Similar is many of our vice, moral and other similar laws. The time, money and people we waste on this is ludicrous.

- Immigration - the other elephant. It has nothing to do with racism, despite the claims - it has to do with the presence of millions of people abusing our system, a great many of whom have no desire to BE Americans, but plenty of desire to enjoy our benefits. You take care of your family before you take care of the neighbors. And for the "do the jobs Americans don't want to do" crowd - that problem will be self correcting when the employer no longer has the option of someone who's willing to do the job for substandard prices just to stay under the radar.

- Welfare reform. Do it. Do it quickly. The growth of a system which has not just allowed, but has encouraged literal generations to stay unemployed and on the dole is one of the greatest failures of a society I can think of. I'm not saying don't give people help - but it doesn't last forever & it damned well better include a plan for getting off the program.

Probably more, but that's all that feels like ranting out right now. Unfortunately, I'm just whistling past the graveyard with eerie music rising in the background...

EDIT: Something I forgot to add, particularly for the media. I don't care who my candidate did or did not sleep with as a consenting adult; I don't care if they smoke, drink, or engage in other legal activities to the same level as any other responsible adult; I don't care if their neighbor in third grade thought they were a pretentious prick. Stick to the issues and quit manufacturing character assassinations to meet your beliefs.


Unknown said...


Meadowlark said...

We have a lot of the same thoughts. But do you know what worries me? Those who go for party A are certain all the negative traits you mention are talking about party B. Those in party B are certain you're vaguely referring to party A.

Divisiveness is killing our country. Doesn't ANYBODY remember the whole "United we stand, divided we fall" thing?


Melissa said...

The funny thing is that most people I know on both sides of the aisle can agree with most of what you're saying. It's really painful when most of the people can see solutions and agree on them (mostly), but it's the politicians who are spurring on the divisiveness and keeping the obvious from getting done.

Captain Tightpants said...

Meadowlark & Melissa - thus my statement regarding the party system. Too many these days look at the label & not the content - on either side...

jimmie said...

Nice post. Very off topic but wjere did you come up with captain tightpants?

Wandering Soul said...

And this is exactly why I refuse to register as either Party because both sides suck! I tend to look at the individual candidate when making my decision. And gotta say, this political race has not produced a single candidate from any Party that I support. They all suck!

Captain Tightpants said...

Jimmy - it's a reference to the greatest television show ever, Firefly, like the title of this blog.

Julie said...

Sitting over here in .aus I can say that I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said and it applies here as much as it does there!

MrGarabaldi said...

We Browncoats gotta hang together.

I am a student of history and one thing that the founders believed in was part time legislators. Full time legislators spend time trying to justify their existence.

crayzie crafter said...

Well said :) are you sure you don't want the job? LOL