Funny, but true...

The guys at Ranger Up hit the nail on the head for a lot of veterans. NSFW but funny as hell.



h/t to BLACKFIVE

Spring is here...

and it's nice to throw on the kilt when I get home from work & cool off for a bit with the hot, humid weather out.

Just saying.

Shallow, unsolicited, selfish post

Seeing another picture on Facebook today, I am reminded yet again that I have BY FAR the hottest wife on my team.

This isn't counting the fact she's cool, smart, and geeky like me - the woman's also undeniably attractive.

Yes, it may be shallow to say so, but I like that part too :D

Tired Captain is Tired...

As has been mentioned before on here, I occasionally work the DUI specials around town - both for the overtime money, and for the fact that I have no sympathy for drunk drivers. Last night was another such event, what with St. Patrick's Day & Saturday night being rolled into one.

Unfortunately, it wasn't one of my most fun - it wasn't a bad night, just gorram long. I was only supposed to work about five hours & ended up doing just about double that - getting home at 7:30 this morning and getting just a few hours of sleep while my gracious wife wrangled the kids out to give me a quiet house.

Just a few highlights, as I'm not in the mental condition to type a story:

- While I admire the fact that the least-drunk member of the group was driving you all home, the point is they were still drunk...

- Whose bright idea was it to only have on magistrate working on a Saturday St. Paddy's??? W.T.F.???? Having to wait over an hour to get my warrants was simply ludicrous.

- I freaking love people who are whiny crybabies on the side of the road "Oh, my life is ruined, you don't understand," and then when they get to jail are all full of themselves is always amusing.

- No sunshine, when you've peed your pants three times in the course of two hours, the "But I'm not drunk!!!!" argument isn't going to fly very far with anyone.

- When you reek of booze and can't stand, answering "Nothing, I swear!" when I ask how much you've had to drink isn't a good way to start our discussion.

- No Mr. Magistrate, your job is to determine if there is probable cause or not - it's not to do the whole trial that night. Taking thirty minutes to do a probable cause hearing for possession of marijuana is a sign of a problem.

- When you show up to jail and are laughing and saying hi to numerous people in the first ten minutes that you recognize, it might be a sign that it's time to reconsider your life's choices. I'm just sayin'.

Why we do this...

Eastside Stories has a great post on why we are cops:

Because I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie.
Because two-day weekends suck.
Because every now and then someone tells me I made a difference.
Because I hate bullies.

Click for the whole list.

Politi-Rant

As I've mentioned before, I try to avoid the political stuff on this blog. Others do it far more eloquently than I do, plus if I think too long on the topic these days I'm liable to get a stroke. Be that as it may, the recent events in our national circus have a few comments bubbling over the pot, Mostly regarding what I do and don't want in a candidate and an election.

Do I anticipate it changing anything? Of course not. Just like I know not everyone will agree with me. But it's my chalkboard, so I can scribble what I want.

By no means an exhaustive list, nor in any order beyond what comes to mind as I type this morning:

- Have more than a passing familiarity with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. And not just one or two of the amendments, but all of them - I hate this trend we have of "well don't attack my pet beliefs, but do what you want to the other side." A nice first step would be telling me how any of your proposed legislative actions are allowed under said documents, and why what you want to do is the government's business. Also, understand what a "right" actually is as opposed to a "benefit or privilege," and understand that the government does not in any way "grant' any of those rights.

- Quit spending your time telling me about how the other side failed, was wrong, or is a child-molesting, heathen, trans-fat injecting, reality TV-watching reprobate. Tell me what YOU are going to do and stand for - not what is wrong with the other side.

- I'm tired of party politics - of either side. They're both entrenched, insider driven organizations, and both are far more concerned in defeating the other side than in doing any significant help for the country. Once you get past the labels it's the same clowns, different circus.

- Additionally, the rich-boy's club needs to end. The fact that Congress has such a high percentage of millionaires yet wants to lecture me on being middle-class is simply ludicrous. Get rid of the system of buying into office, and let's have some people who actually represent all levels of society.

- If elected, remember you work for me & are there at our sufferance - not the other way around. Term limits would be great, as would a removal of the government pension system & incentive to park your ass in office for the rest of your life. Additionally, even though you think it's a popularity contest and you want everyone to like you - I'd rather you go in as a responsible adult willing to piss off people because you're doing the right thing, than see you as another spineless pawn of the latest poll.

- Keep your religion out of office. I'm fine if you want to tell me that you live your life by the Bible, Torah, Koran, or the scribblings on the menu of Uncle Bob's Bar-B-Que and Bait shop - at least I get a reference point for your behavior. But the instant you tell me you want to run the country by those same guidelines you can pack sand. Your faith (or lack thereof) is your business & I've seen what theocracies turn into. Similarly, as long as it's not hurting anyone else, stay out of my church and what I believe or practice.

- Also, quit telling me and others how to live our lives. Whether it's our genitals, our reproduction, our desire or lack of desire for various mating rituals and ceremonies, or the food we want to eat - butt out. Self-determination and responsibility for the consequences of our actions needs to return to the individual and the community.

- For the elephant that's not just in the room, but it's crushed the guests and eaten all the food - the economy, budget, and deficit. Quit lying to us, quit spending more money and buying votes with your entitlements or your business subsidies (same action from both sides, just different recipients,) and quit avoiding the hard decisions. As everyone with a brain has been saying and you keep ignoring we have passed the time for hard decisions and now we have to start cutting away in hopes to even survive, not just to maintain. So - your actions in office need to involve aggressively cutting expenses and programs, and shrinking government to a level of near-invisibility.

- Despite my love of our military and gratitude towards the service members who give so much, it's time for us to stop being the world's policeman. We don't have the money for it, it's not making a difference where it needs to, and we're losing lives in a lost cause. Given the options of building an empire by conquering our enemies & colonizing their lands, or of bringing our people home it's time for the latter. Additionally it's time for the other boys and girls on the playground to learn to take care of themselves (I'm talking to you Europe.) Note - I'm not saying get rid of the military or be weak - if you threaten us then an overwhelmingly violent lesson in the folly of such is appropriate. But once that's done we don't need to sit there for ten years trying to figure out step two.

- Same for foreign aid and development, which as P.J. O'Rourke said twenty years ago seems to be doing neither - to heck with 'em. We can't afford to prop up or subsidize everyone else anymore.

- Start cutting laws, regulations, and agencies not expanding them. Again, the bureaucracy is unsustainable.

- Drugs. This is a tough one for me. On the one hand, I've seen what horrible stuff drug abuse does to people. On the other, the war on drugs has been a dismal failure in terms of stopping the inflow, harming the organizations, or anything similar - and has led to a horrendous erosion of our rights as citizens, and an even worse problem among the populace of an "us vs. them" militarization of law enforcement. The Portuguese model seems to be working well, maybe it's time to give that a try. If not, let Darwin take over.

- Similar is many of our vice, moral and other similar laws. The time, money and people we waste on this is ludicrous.

- Immigration - the other elephant. It has nothing to do with racism, despite the claims - it has to do with the presence of millions of people abusing our system, a great many of whom have no desire to BE Americans, but plenty of desire to enjoy our benefits. You take care of your family before you take care of the neighbors. And for the "do the jobs Americans don't want to do" crowd - that problem will be self correcting when the employer no longer has the option of someone who's willing to do the job for substandard prices just to stay under the radar.

- Welfare reform. Do it. Do it quickly. The growth of a system which has not just allowed, but has encouraged literal generations to stay unemployed and on the dole is one of the greatest failures of a society I can think of. I'm not saying don't give people help - but it doesn't last forever & it damned well better include a plan for getting off the program.

Probably more, but that's all that feels like ranting out right now. Unfortunately, I'm just whistling past the graveyard with eerie music rising in the background...

EDIT: Something I forgot to add, particularly for the media. I don't care who my candidate did or did not sleep with as a consenting adult; I don't care if they smoke, drink, or engage in other legal activities to the same level as any other responsible adult; I don't care if their neighbor in third grade thought they were a pretentious prick. Stick to the issues and quit manufacturing character assassinations to meet your beliefs.

I've had this conversation...

With my wife while we were dating. I believe the exact words I used then were "It has a 200 megabyte hard drive, trust me - you'll never fill it."

Moore's law of course proved me wrong.

Radio Days

Roberta has a post up regarding the changes in the broadcast industry, which got me to thinking...

See, on the "things 99% of the people don't know about me" list - I used to work in radio as a DJ. In fact, as was often the case in those days, I grew up in a "radio family." My father was an engineer (there are still spots back west where I've had the older radio guys ask me "are you any relation to Steve XXXX? based on his time in the field), and my mother worked various station odd-jobs as we moved from place to place. See - broadcasting at that time, particularly if you weren't the major personality, was a bit of a nomadic lifestyle as licenses changed hands & stations rose or fell. So I grew up in those various control and broadcast rooms she discusses, crawling and running around those racks of equipment. When some commercial needed a kid's voiceover my brother and I were among those recruited to fill such slots. So, pretty much the first 12 years or so of my life were spent around broadcasting.

Oh - and WKRP? Radio people loved it, because we all recognized the characters...

Then, when you fast-forward to my post-high school first attempt at college & brief flirtation with grown-up life, time came for me to find a job that paid more than fast food. I started with campus radio on a student's check; and very shortly had one of the other local stations approach me saying "Um, we could use a guy on the midnight shift if you're possibly interested?" So then I had the fun of several nights a week surviving on caffeine, enjoying the eclectic fun of life before corporate mandated playlists, and the eternal 2 a.m. DJ question of "Is anyone out there listening?" Semi-prank calls from friends that were just barely on the side of being able to broadcast, sixty-second rants (an early form of blogging I suppose) and all the like. I'm by no means claiming to be exceptional, but I was certainly doing alright for a kid with no degree or formal training.

In what I think was the right choice though, I was able to look at my options. Having grown up around radio, I knew where I'd be in twenty years - still doing more or less the same thing. Sure, I might be at a bigger market, or maybe program director somewhere - but I was by no means going to be one of those huge-contract radio personalities. I didn't have the talent or the personality which would cross me over from being "good" to "financial draw." At the time I reached this semi-epiphany I was working as a DJ, plus working in television production, and made the decision to leave both for the military career I'd often considered.

Fast-forward twenty-some years and here we are.

I certainly think I made the right decision and am more than happy with it. But it is fun at times to read about stuff from Roberta or others, and think about those days back in a dark control booth, turning the volume up on the mic as I fade in for another intro...

"And, since it's the week before finals, here's your midnight album - side one of Pink Floyd's The Wall, while I study for tomorrow. Free tickets to the concert for the first person who provides the answers to Professor Smith's Algebra I test..."

In which I am fortunate...

that my wife and I are omnivores and occasional hedonists...

From Rev. Paul

and FWIW - my wife is hotter than picture #2, TYVM. My plan is still working :D

Another milestone...

Some of the t-shirts in my collection are rather inappropriate. "Talks like a sailor" does have a basis in fact, and divers in particular are known for their earthy commentary at times...

Usually this isn't an issue - I only wear these things around the house or under other stuff, so as not to cause any problems or such.

Well - new house rule came into effect tonight. When Jacob piped up with a "I want to read what your shirt says," as I'm doing my best to cover things and get a sweatshirt on over it post-haste.

So now, I'll have to be even stricter on my shirt self-control.

Smart kids... the bane of adult humor.

Today's post brought to you by T, M and I.

- While at the public gym gents, I understand you may want to inspect your face for pimples, stray hairs or whatever - but for the sake of my stomach, put your gorram towel on instead of dangling your junk in the community sink.

- Gym towels can be washed, seriously. When they clear an aisle it's time.

- If you've been in the shower for over twenty minutes let's just all be honest - you're not there to get clean, are you?

I'm not ready for this...

Based on her (hopefully) unscripted hip-dance display last night, the biscuit is growing up way too fast. Time for daddy to prepare...