It started out with helping out a couple of the newer road guys with a disorderly call at a local bar. I was good and just let them run things for the start of it - because I would have had the folks involved in cuffs a whole lot sooner as opposed to just messing around inside and letting them get more spun up. Be that as it may, ended up with folks being led to cars for the ride to jail & I was trying to help clean up the last of it with sending the rest of the parties involved on their way home. Which led to lesson number one for the folks in the community - when the nice officer is asking you how much you had to drink, and trying to figure out if you're in any condition to drive, it is probably NOT a good time to get a pissy attitude and stop cooperating with things. Because our young lady in question didn't think that one through, so she ended up taking a ride on her own and spending the night sleeping it off.
Floated around for a few minutes after that, nothing much out catching my eye so I just kind of hit my little Zen moment and wandered. Which is right about when I had a lovely, obvious drunk pull out right in front of me. Get him pulled over, and it's like he read right through the normal script for DUI's - seriously folks, get somewhat original. For those who haven't heard any of them, here's the typical selection, with commentary:
- "But I didn't do anything, why are you stopping me?" - Ummmm the fact you can't find a lane to keep your car in usually works for me, but what do I know?
- "I only had two beers." - I seriously want to find the place that serves beers big enough so that two of them get you to a .20....
- "But I swear, I'm not drunk!" - Yeah, yet again - the facts of the situation tend to show differently.
- "I passed all those tests." - No, if you'd passed the field tests you'd be on your way home, not wearing handcuffs on the way to jail...
and one of my personal favorite questions: "If I pass the breath test you're just going to take me home, right?" Sorry folks, it doesn't work that way. #1 - if I put the cuffs on you, I make sure I've got enough for a good arrest before I make that choice - really not a big fan of "wrongful arrest" lawsuits or losing cases in court; and #2 - while the breath test is a part of things it's far from the whole case & in fact the great majority of my DUI's are won before we even get to that point in the case.
So anyway, after we get through all that and the fun of my paperwork I got home for a few hours of sleep. Woke up and started a few clean-up chores on my list, when I had another callout to go play bomb guy for a bit this afternoon. Fortunately it ended up not being a real device, but kept me busy when I had other stuff planned. Then it was home for some family time & an early night coming up in the next few minutes.
My favorite incident like that happened when I was an MP and pulled a civilian over for DWI on base.
As he sat on the curb waiting for CHP to come and collect him and his car, he looked up at me and said.
"If they impound my car they won't take the drugs out of the back will they?"
Yeah, he was a smart one.
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