Just a thought

SO, for anyone out there considering opening up a business like say, a hospital, here's an idea for you.

I really like the whole "checklist" thing - where they make sure you're the right patient, they make sure they know what the surgery is and what part of the body it's on, all that stuff - double checking things before they proceed. I mean, it just shows a thoroughness and professionalism and level of patient care that's important... that kind of thing counts you know.

But, I kind of would like to see an addition to the list...

How about we make sure the gorram surgeon is in the gorram hospital at some point????

Like maybe BEFORE we sedate the patient, put a nerve block in one arm, and generally ensure that they can't go anywhere for the next 6-8 hours???

I bring this up because yes, it actually happened to me this morning.

Got up at 5-ish, had my wife (who hates mornings more than I do, and despises cold ones in a way that can't be written on a non-adult website) drive me to the hospital and sign me in. Got undressed & into the "doesn't even pretend to hide stuff" gown. They roll me into the pre-op ward, check everything out and I'm ready for the day. Heck, they're even predicting I may get to call for my ride home by noon. All the right stuff is double checked, and in comes the anesthesiologist. They get the sedation started, and drop a nerve block in for my arm.

Speaking of, that's a strange experience I'm not looking forward to repeating - when you can tell the limb is there but can't do crap with it is kind of not fun.

Anyway, I lie there while that all takes effect & I'm nice & comfortably numb, in true Roger Waters fashion. Then they roll me into the operating room and I zone out while I wait...

Well, a short time later, I realize we are moving again and they're saying "Oh, we're just going in here to wait for a little bit, just hang out." So I am lying there in & out of things when I start to realize it's been a good hour and a half of waiting here & so I call the nurse over to ask what's going on. She mumbles something about "I'll go get one of the doctors so they can explain everything." and wanders off, as I wonder what is going on here.

About 15 minutes later in comes one of the residents and the charge nurse, who explain that ummmmm, well, no one at the hospital quite knows WHERE the surgeon is this morning. No one has seen him, he's not answering his office or cell phone, and they just aren't sure what is going on. But just hang out a little longer, and as soon as we find him we'll get this whole operation-thing rolling right along...

Given that I've had about 5 hours sleep in the past two days I take the opportunity to drift in and out for a bit, letting the medication help me nap for a while. The next thing I know I take a look at the clock and we are rolling up on 1pm... I figure this is more than enough time to figure out SOMETHING, so I call the nurse-with-no-answers over again, who wanders off once more in search of a doctor.

I get a different one back this time - later finding out it's the head of this department. I will say this positively about the man - he was far less pleased than I was. He then took the opportunity to explain to me, quite honestly, that the problem was completely on their end - the surgeon in question had a death in the family, had left town & not cancelled any of their appointments, and that he was going to do everything he could to make things right & resolve them quickly. Which means that he's going to try to get me in there far sooner than normal scheduling, and he was on his way up to the main adminstration right now to make sure it was sorted out.

I was a grown-up boy too - I didn't rant or rave, throw anything, or otherwise display a temper - particularly surprising since I hadn't been able to eat or drink anything since the previous night, and was starting to feel it. However, this man was very obviously displeased with what had happened and how it reflected upon his staff, and sincere in his efforts to fix things however he could. He particularly felt bad since he knew we had arranged family things, childcare and time off from work specifically around all of this, and how much it inconvenienced a number of people.

Ended up taking a few more hours for all the drugs to be out of my system, sort out what little paperwork there was & then for my wife and the kids to make it up there to drive me home. Now I'm supposed to get a call tomorrow with a very-near future date for my return trip, and hopefully a successful conclusion.

But you can bet I'm going to tell them I need to actually see the freaking doctor before needle one goes in my body next time!

And that's MY day in a cracked nutshell...

"So, other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"